I know it's been a while! But when the creative juices go dry, one fishes out some old ones from the cellar and puts it on the table. :P
So here goes again … another bad boy on the anvil. And this time it’s the baap
himself --- the BIG DADDY of everything evil, the man who is the very
epitome of wickedness --- *drums rolling, cymbals clashing* it’s SATAN!
So
the 'threaten’r' got his ultimate revenge, defacing this poor guy in
front of the whole world. God made poor Satan the scapegoat for all the
loopholes he left in his ‘creation’! The story of the Creation is an apt
example. God made a garden and a man and a woman, and left them loose in
the Garden making them work like slaves all day. The Church might
say, 'Arre, but they were happy na! Never did they
complain!'; but hullo! I beg to differ! Did they know any other kind of
life to complain? And then there was the Golden Rule --- 'You may eat of
all the fruits in the garden except THAT ONE!' Of course, they would
have wondered, 'Aisa kya hai bhai ki we can’t eat that!'
Enter our hero. Satan lures them to eat THE Fruit, God gets pissed, throws the couple out because they were doing 'adult vali cheezein'
in his 'pwetty' garden. But let’s look at it this way --- had our dear
friend the Devil not lured those two brick-heads to that apple, today we
would (had we even existed since the lust that enables conception was
created after the Fall!) have all been slaving away in God’s 'pwetty'
Garden of Eden! No technology, no progress, just farmers without a
salary! So well, the original Saviour was Satan then!
But
there is a side of Mr Satan which many may not be aware of (or may be,
I don’t know!). Let me tell you the story of how Satan came to be the
Prince of Hell, since I love to show-off my knowledge of all that is
evil (buhahaha!). So once upon a time, in Heaven so far, far away lived
God, His Son and His gang of angels. Satan was the angel of music and
light and was God’s favorite. Everything went great until one day like
Ram Gopal Varma, God had an urge to create. So He set to work (by the
way, I have always wondered … why did it take God six days to make the
world? Isn’t He God?! And how come He got tired and took a day’s sick
leave? Isn’t He God?) and created the Earth, the sky, light and
darkness, land and water, animals and birds. That didn’t seem enough and
He wanted to create Man in His own image (bloody narcissist!).
That’s
when the trouble started. The only person God consulted was his Son and
Satan went red with fury. (There’s an alternate myth that claims that
God declared Jesus the second in command and Satan went mad with anger!)
Jesus became the second in command automatically by virtue of his
Father being the first in command! Satan had done all the work God asked
for and had expected to be amongst the leaders of the creative team for
Mission Creation of Human. But Satan was ignored. Satan got pissed, got
a bunch of other rebels together and protested against the unfair
nature of the proceedings. God could not stand someone voicing any
opinions contradictory to his and threw him out along with the gang of
rebels. It did not leave Satan depressed and dejected. Instead he made
the best of what he had, fashioned a new kingdom of his own called Hell
and had his own awesome party to which God and His bunch of losers were
not invited! (Okay, I made up that part about the party! :P)
Satan
in that sense is not the embodiment of evil, but on the contrary, a
symbol of Rebellion and Perseverance! No wonder the Church hates him
(they never could stand rebellion ever anyway!) Satan was in a way the
first revolutionary hero to raise a voice against tyranny. God was the
one who started dynasty politics; way before the Nehru family and
Thackeray family ever were even in the stages of being born! Satan’s
rebellion was the first revolution in the history of the world (if the
Bible may be taken as authentic) and all repressed folks around the world
should hail Satan as their inspiration and follow his lead!
The
Church condemns Satan as being ambitious; but when did ambition ever become a
sin? Throttling the neck of aspirations instead should be what sin is
and in that case, the Church would be deemed the biggest sinner! Satan
refused to follow the path set down by God and wanted to follow his own
will instead and that caused him to be maligned as evil. He did what he
felt was right and was punished for it. But he had a Dream. How is he
any different from any of us then? Don’t we all have dreams? Does that
make us evil? I nominate Satan as the ambassador of freedom and free
will. Any takers?P.S: Someday I shall put up a new post! Someday!
P.P.S.: Originally published in 21Fools.com.
