Devil's Advocate

I know it's been a while! But when the creative juices go dry, one fishes out some old ones from the cellar and puts it on the table. :P

So here goes again … another bad boy on the anvil. And this time it’s the baap himself --- the BIG DADDY of everything evil, the man who is the very epitome of wickedness --- *drums rolling, cymbals clashing* it’s SATAN! 

So the 'threaten’r' got his ultimate revenge, defacing this poor guy in front of the whole world. God made poor Satan the scapegoat for all the loopholes he left in his ‘creation’! The story of the Creation is an apt example. God made a garden and a man and a woman, and left them loose in the Garden making them work like slaves all day. The Church might say, 'Arre, but they were happy na! Never did they complain!'; but hullo! I beg to differ! Did they know any other kind of life to complain? And then there was the Golden Rule --- 'You may eat of all the fruits in the garden except THAT ONE!' Of course, they would have wondered, 'Aisa kya hai bhai ki we can’t eat that!'

Enter our hero. Satan lures them to eat THE Fruit, God gets pissed, throws the couple out because they were doing 'adult vali cheezein' in his 'pwetty' garden. But let’s look at it this way --- had our dear friend the Devil not lured those two brick-heads to that apple, today we would (had we even existed since the lust that enables conception was created after the Fall!) have all been slaving away in God’s 'pwetty' Garden of Eden! No technology, no progress, just farmers without a salary! So well, the original Saviour was Satan then!

But there is a side of Mr Satan which many may not be aware of (or may be, I don’t know!). Let me tell you the story of how Satan came to be the Prince of Hell, since I love to show-off my knowledge of all that is evil (buhahaha!). So once upon a time, in Heaven so far, far away lived God, His Son and His gang of angels. Satan was the angel of music and light and was God’s favorite. Everything went great until one day like Ram Gopal Varma, God had an urge to create. So He set to work (by the way, I have always wondered … why did it take God six days to make the world? Isn’t He God?! And how come He got tired and took a day’s sick leave? Isn’t He God?) and created the Earth, the sky, light and darkness, land and water, animals and birds. That didn’t seem enough and He wanted to create Man in His own image (bloody narcissist!).

That’s when the trouble started. The only person God consulted was his Son and Satan went red with fury. (There’s an alternate myth that claims that God declared Jesus the second in command and Satan went mad with anger!) Jesus became the second in command automatically by virtue of his Father being the first in command! Satan had done all the work God asked for and had expected to be amongst the leaders of the creative team for Mission Creation of Human. But Satan was ignored. Satan got pissed, got a bunch of other rebels together and protested against the unfair nature of the proceedings. God could not stand someone voicing any opinions contradictory to his and threw him out along with the gang of rebels. It did not leave Satan depressed and dejected. Instead he made the best of what he had, fashioned a new kingdom of his own called Hell and had his own awesome party to which God and His bunch of losers were not invited! (Okay, I made up that part about the party! :P)

Satan in that sense is not the embodiment of evil, but on the contrary, a symbol of Rebellion and Perseverance! No wonder the Church hates him (they never could stand rebellion ever anyway!) Satan was in a way the first revolutionary hero to raise a voice against tyranny. God was the one who started dynasty politics; way before the Nehru family and Thackeray family ever were even in the stages of being born! Satan’s rebellion was the first revolution in the history of the world (if the Bible may be taken as authentic) and all repressed folks around the world should hail Satan as their inspiration and follow his lead!

The Church condemns Satan as being ambitious; but when did ambition ever become a sin? Throttling the neck of aspirations instead should be what sin is and in that case, the Church would be deemed the biggest sinner! Satan refused to follow the path set down by God and wanted to follow his own will instead and that caused him to be maligned as evil. He did what he felt was right and was punished for it. But he had a Dream. How is he any different from any of us then? Don’t we all have dreams? Does that make us evil? I nominate Satan as the ambassador of freedom and free will. Any takers?

P.S: Someday I shall put up a new post! Someday!

P.P.S.: Originally published in 21Fools.com.