Saturday, August 14, 2010

My Tribute To Colonel Sanders!

With special thanks to Zooks for lending her right hand to this noble cause (becoming the first vegetarian to be in an "I Love KFC" pic perhaps!)!
Here's to a whole lot more of centuries of finger lickin' goodness!

(P.S.- Yes, you're right! I had nothing better to do! :P )

Wading in the city!

It rained cats and dogs today. I had to almost swim back home. The traffic was a bummer, drains overflowing, it was a sight to see. Makes one wonder about the drainage system of the city... God save Delhi's pride if the rain gods decide to flash their teeth during the Commonwealth Games! :P Perhaps if they paid attention to the more essential repairs rather than turn to rubble the footpaths and then batter them up again and again in a vicious cycle... perhaps then the citizens would not have to contemplate buying a boat as standby option in a city where even the sole river does not have water enough for a man to drown!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Page 57

Write page 57 of your 300-page autobiography.

An excerpt from the upcoming bestseller "The Minstrel's Lair" by the Booker Prize winning author who refuses to reveal her true identity- Minstrel Incognito. Arriving at your nearest bookstores very very soon! 
cover photograph: Bigde Nawab
cover design: Minstrel Incognito
Page 57

...and there I sat with the monitor staring at me. The publisher's advance check stared at me and taunted me. When I had signed the dotted line for 300 pages of regular rubbish, I hadn't thought it would be this hard. Giving the world, my readers a peak into my daily life was not an easy task. I revelled in the enigmatic aura that I had built around myself. Opening the door was the toughest part. Well, since my editor will make my life miserable if I don't make any headway into this, let's move on! 

My life as the centre of attention and the apple of everyone's eye had become a habit by now. I enjoyed the attention and loved being pampered. And then one day everything changed. It started the day I had gone shopping with my parents and my mother fainted. I was worried, it's not everyday that 6 year olds see their mother faint in the middle of the road! Bollywood masala had attuned me to fear the worst about everything. Mom had just come back from Libya a few months back and I had been very excited to be with her again. But then this happened. Heading home, I was so nervous and scared I couldn't breathe. And I was so angry with my dad and mom for being so freakin' calm about this and not telling me what's wrong! In complete cinema ishtyle I paced the length of my room as Mom went to the hospital with Dad. They came back grinning from ear to ear and I was frustrated because I didn’t know what was going on.

18th July, 1995- I saw my Dad waiting for me outside the school gate and I instantly knew something was up. We went to the hospital together and I entered the room in which my mother lay. My 3 month-old cousin was sprawled on the bed next to mom’s googoo gaing me and holding out her chubby fingers. I grinned at her and hugged her. With nervous excitement I then walked towards the crib on the other side of mom’s bed. There was a white little bundle of cloth inside. Peering closely I saw that the bundle had a face with a mouth that was open and searching for something and eyes that were tightly shut like a little puppy’s. My Dad looked ecstatic and proudly lifted the bundle and handed it to me. I was all excited- MY SISTER! I held the tiny little baby in my hands and peered into her small cute face. I was so happy! And then the tiny face contorted and the mouth opened wide and a siren rang out! The thing was wailing like I was an axe murderer! I handed her duly back to my ecstatic Dad and I said “ye kya hai? Kitna rota hai! Mujhe nahi chahiye!” (What is this? So much wailing! I don’t want it!) 

And I trod back to my happy little cousin who was still all googoo gaga! Atleast this thing knew how to smile, I liked it better! (Okay I’m literally writing in the moment! No offences to the “things” in question! Both of you rock!) She came and she took all the attention away. All my relatives now fawned over her, I was angry, rather than the apple of everyone’s eye, I felt more like the banana peel. I glared when asked about how excited I was about my sister! I went like blah! 

And then again it all changed one fine day. (These change vale days do seem quite frequent in my life eh?) Mom was busy in the kitchen, Dad was at work. I decided to check out what the hype was all about for myself. “The thing” lay on the mat in the sitting room rattling some silly chan-chan crap! I crept slowly upto her and then peered into her face again. A toothless grin from my then-nemesis left me spellbound. Her little fingers grabbed my thumb and I sat still, proceeding with caution. I didn’t know what to do next and waited for her next move wary of…

*end of page*

Sunday, August 1, 2010

To My Partners In Crime!

I'm a strange person to be friends with! :P I have my eccentricities and my mad moments! Yet there are those few mad freaks who stubbornly stand by me through all that! When I act like a dope, they kick my ass. When I don't call, they call me and don't let me off the hook for hours! :P Some scold me and rant at my habit of going aloof but smile and give a big hug and forget all about it the minute I say "sorry na yaar!". Here's to you!

To my kiddo: I know sisters are not historically supposed to be best friend material but dude you're the best! I know so many sisters who never lose opportunities to bug their siblings and nor do you! But I've seen you cry when I cry, the minute I get pissed, I've seen your face fall! Our secrets have never been exploited by you! And thankfully, you are still a kid and not a pseudo-adult most of your peers have become! Thanks for being better than the best I could have ever wish for! Muah!

To My school gang- The twins, Mary Sheikh and Takia: They say school friends always tend to drift away! But you guys are like stuck to me with superglue! :P Of course our priorities have shifted, we've grown up, most of you are WORKING NOW! (Gawd have we grown up!) But I know you guys will always be there no matter what! You're the only chain that remains to bind me to some of the best days of my life! 12-B was a riot! Remember being punished on the stairs next to the staffroom and how we sat there proudly as a class boasting of our not so ordinary achievement? And dreaming of the days when the Princi would just go away! Complaining about hairbands, pita humare in the assembly, Saxy's lectures, Golgappas's escapades with her hubby, fighting over chowmein! Miss those days!

To My College  Clique: You guys are like the awesomest people I met after I stepped into the big bad world! Dopey, my non-veg partner! My KFC days would have been history without you! Moments are so many that recalling it would require a separate blog! But as ex-work partner, fashion consultant (:P The raybans!), my to-be flat mate and (thank god for small mercies!) non- chaman ka maali, gosh You rock!!! 
Zooks, you're something else man, out of this world! The one and only Fra Nupsy Lippi! If I don't get strangled by your mane, we shall grow old and sit on that front porch (Lily style!) and sip on chocolate milk and bitch about spitters! ;) 
Don, dude, you don't scare me! (Ha!) No matter how hard you glare at me with those eyes of yours! But you're the most adorable little thing ever (emphasizing on LITTLE! Oh oh I'm dead! :P) You're like my Twitter and Facebook updates both rolled into one! What would I do without you! ;P And yes, on that front porch, Dopey, Zooks, Enna Rascala, you and I are gonna sit and do the TB Disco dance! And even then, I'm sure you'll be my news bulletin! hehe! Love you for the madness! ;P
Enna Rascala mind it! Your toilet jokes and mad humor has made me smile even on the worst of days! You're like my substitute granny! Hehe! (That's what you get for calling me kiddo! :P) Thanks for caring so much about me and completing my crazy bunch so perfectly! Of course  I go zzzzzzzzzzz... at your lectures but I love you no less! :P You're a dope and you rock as one!

To The Wizard Of Verse, my Partner in Rhyme: you kept the poet in me alive, until you went away to Mumbai! Our wars of Verse are something that can never be replicated with anyone else! The days we spent walking till eternity with Bhaiya ji and endless talks and discussions about Milton, Bhaiya ji's flowery shirts, waiting for 108, your habit of fidgeting with all the condiments at a restaurant and dumping it into your glass!:P The concerts, making fun of US, your attempts at making me dance (hehe!), Deepi's playing matchmaker and us laughing our heads off over it! Although the first time I met you I thought you were an obnoxious snob, i'm glad I got to know otherwise! Hehe! Thanks for all the fun!

To Bhaiya Ji : You're the brother that I never had and words can never be enough to tell you how much you mean to me! The ways you've been there, I can never forget. It's amazing how you could just instinctively know when I was upset and how you always managed to cheer me up. Moments are so many- the 4- hour waiting for the strike to end even before you were my friend, dropping me home after the DU concerts like the dutiful bro that you've always been, the trips to here and there to satiate our ever growling appetites, the late night antakshari game on the phone to cheer me up (the cheesy songs and all!hehe!), the pep talks, the debates, the Rakhi baandho episode in MH.. so much that have left their mark on the pages of my life! And I know you'll be there always without even being asked, as always! Miss you!

To Bigde Nawab : You're like a miracle to me... the greatest gift that I could have asked for. Thanks for loving me with all my madness. I know I'm not the easiest person to be with, I do test you a lot, but thanks for taking it all with a grin and never complaining! You're everything I ever wanted and all that I ever will! Loads of love to you for being who you are... My Best Friend! :)   

A very Happy friendship Day to all of you.. Okay I admit I got a lil senti and this was an excuse to pour it all out! ;) Loads of love to you guys!

P.s.-  Dear readers of my blog (the tiny and miniscule no who actually take time out to read all the crap I dish out!). You're the bomb! Love you all for everything! Happy friendship Day! :)