Monday, May 31, 2010

My Forced Hibernation

It wasn't by choice. On the day before my last exam-the dreaded, loathed Romantic Poetry paper- MTNL decided to have some fun at my expense. Somewhere, some cable that connected my computer to the miraculous world of  internet got disconnected. I was logged off for good! :/ 2 and a half weeks of @#%&#**$*^#@@ later, finally yesterday I saw the link on the modem steady. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief, hit the modem to see what was wrong (so used to not having internet was I !) and then realised- OH MY GOD!OH MY GOD! THE INTERNET GODS ARE SMILING AGAIN!!!!! :)

 image source: Photobucket

So the Minstrel's BACK (back echoes 10 times for dramatic effect!)!!! But not for long! The displaced Mallu is being dragged back to native homelands by her homesick parents!!!! :/ So the Minstrel shall actually go into hibernation! Damn! So gonna miss blogging! A MOnth! Oh no! My Indirank is gonna skydive!!!! Nahiiiii........ My hard-earned No. 66! :(  But if Britney Spears can make a comeback then so can I! :P Ha! For now, I'll just make the most of what I have...

Friday, May 14, 2010

To The Dopey Spanish Chick!!!

Since Don had the bright idea of wishing you through every medium, let me not ignore this one!!! Happy Birthday woman! Sorry that you have to spend it in the company of Wordsworth, Shelley and Burke (I mean, what could possibly be worse??? Oh wait! Thought of one! Rather not reveal it! Hehe!) 

So taking the liberty, on behalf of Don (coz it was her idea) and Zooks too since one can't mention Don without mentioning Zooks (hehe!) and well, Enna Rascala, How Rude, Onku's Fashion Guru and Moppet too, here's wishing you a rocking 22nd Birthday!!!!!!! (*Jumping up and down with excitement*)!

This is Zooks and Don tipsy without drinking btw! :P
 Don't worry! We'll make sure we make up to you! By killing your back with birthday bumps after exams!!! Loads of love again!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!  :) 

p.s- just found this following pic ultra hilarious although ridiculous:

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Secret Course That Doctors Do

I had my Linguistics exam the other day and Don's mom (a doc) had generously taken out time and made notes explaining the concepts of Phonetics to us. Reading her notes a flashbulb lit in my weary, tired, grumpy brain. And no, it was nothing connected to Phonetics! :P
Image Copyright © 1998 Mark A. Hicks. Originally published by Mark A. Hicks. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

What is the one thing that connects doctors across the world, the one thing they share across all boundaries-nationality, race, gender, whatever? No, not the white coat silly! It is- wait for it- (hehe!)- ta da- {{drum-roll}}- IT'S THE BAD HANDWRITING!!!! Yea folks, that's the thing! Whether you go to a doctor in Munirka or a doctor in Nebraska, you can be sure that you'll never understand what they wrote on that prescription slip! 

So I decided to find out why exactly this happens, is it a mere coincidence that I haven't met a single Doctor with a legible handwriting. After a day of super-sleuthing and haunting doctors across the city, this is what my spies reported- "It is a conspiracy! "

Wait. That was not dramatic enough. After all, it's a big secret.

Ok, let's try India TV style:
"Ye ek saazish hai! Kya aap jaante hain apne chikitsak ka raaz? Aap kyun unki likhavat ko padh nai paate? Aapke haath mein chikitsa parcha hai ya ek khufiya saazish ka raaz! Dekhiye ye parcha kya aap kuch padh pa rahe hain? Kya raaz chupaate hain chikitsak humse?.."

Alright I could go on and on if I had been the India TV crew member who would love to drive you mad but my Hindi vocabulary isn't loaded well enough! :( So the big secret is- Yes, they do a secret one year course in Spider Crawlies, I mean, bad handwriting. This is info straight from the doc's mouth, obtained after threatening him to decipher what he had written and leak it to the press! So here's the deal- the course is called 'Legibility-A Medical Crime' and has books like- "Bad Handwriting for Dummies and Docs" by secretly renowned author U. Kant Reedmi and "The Medico's Guide To Scrawling" by I. Wright Spyder. These books are not available without a medico prescription! 

All medical students have to pass this one year course to get the "Dr" tag next to their names. The exam is closely monitored and if even the invigilator is able to read what you write you are thrown out right then and there and given an ER (Essential Repeat, dummy!) All doctors have come through this tough course with a lot of hardwork and the Minstrel salutes them! Our source Dr. Sharma (name changed just for fun!) says, "I could do all the other courses even with my eyes shut. The toughest ones too were a cakewalk! But Course AUDUD1 was a mighty firecracker! I don't know how I made it through!"

And yes, a chemist has to take the course too. How else would he read the prescription? 

After years of the English teacher drilling them in school to get the beautiful cursive handwriting, it must definitely have been hard to unlearn all of that. All those truant medicos who were scolded by their teachers for bad handwriting ("I would have corrected your paper IF I could read what you wrote!") must have had the last laugh now.

Who said it's easy to become a doctor? Planning to become one, start scrawling today.
ESSENTIAL TIPS (stolen from Mr. U. Kant Reedmi's book)
1. No human but your chemist should read what you write.
2. It gives you that aura of mystery and enigma.
3. Learn from 2 and 3 year old kids. Steal their books for guidance.
4. When done correctly the page should look like a handicapped spider wobbled across the page.
5. Hold your pen with 2 fingers and write for practice.
6. Pretend as if you have a fracture in your hand and then try.
Honestly, I couldn't read the rest or I would have reprinted it all here! Sorry guys!

P.S.- Thank goodness I never wanted to become a doctor! How would I ever have deformed my beautiful handwriting!? :P

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

When A Dream Breaks

When a dream breaks, it shatters into a million fragments. Everytime you try to dream a new dream, each fragment of that shattered dream deafens out all hope. And it terrifies you to dream again. But keep that hope, no matter how tiny, close to your heart, because one day it will teach you to soar above those fragments and fearlessly dream once more, and fly through the dark clouds into the sunlight...

image source:

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Half Full

©2007-2010 ~death-pain-misery

I was a true poet once upon a time. I thrived on misery and sorrow because I would have something to write about. I exaggerated my emotions and wrote long verses describing my woes. I could never see the glass as half full, for me it was always half empty, I liked it better that way. Morbid was the way to go and although it was unhealthy, it was the way it was.

image source: Randy Faris/Corbis
Then one day, in walked Mr. Bigde Nawab and turned my life upside down forever. He came from the land of never ending smiles and sunshine and looked in wonder at my land of stormy dark skies. He held the glass up to me and said, "Half-full". I blinked at him, not understanding because the glass was very much half empty. He smiled and said, "Half-full".

Life is how you see it, how we live it is all a matter of choice. It's a road with a lot of potholes and toll plazas and many obstacles, that can't be changed. What can be changed is our attitude to them. Is it an obstacle or a challenge to face? A mistake or an opportunity? This is something that we decide. Where we go might not be in our hands most of the times, but how we go is definitely always our call.

Whenever there was a problem that got me wasted, he would haul me up like a military commander and tell me how to give it back to 'em. He sees the bright side to everything. I was upset once because a lot of people were spreading crap about me and damaging my reputation. He said, "Look at it this way- you're famous! They talk about you, you're a star! No matter what they say, those who know you know who you are. The rest don't really matter, do they? Enjoy the limelight! ;)" 

We had our share of problems that we had to face together, but he never gave up. He would just grin and say, "Imagine what a great story we'll have to tell our children and grandchildren!" 

He holds me strong when I go weak, makes me smile when I'd rather weep. We both do go wrong at times, but we always find our way back, together. His smile is infectious and overrides my tears. he never lets me cry, NEVER. As in, I am not allowed to cry ;) 

He taught me to look for the joy and not the pain. He helped me walk out of my land of stormy skies and welcome the sunshine. Maybe it's that way, life is how we see it. We just have to look for the right thing. Now I look for a reason to smile. And even when there is none that comes to my mind, I just think of him. It works the best! :)

So the glass in the world of the Minstrel and the Nawab is always HALF FULL! Cheers to that!
And here's to my precious sunshine and to the years of bliss to come...:)

P.S.- No fuel for poetry so no morbid poetry! :) The Minstrel will try to compose happy rhymes for nursery children from today! No mean task ;)